The course of true love never did run smooth
by Fates-Love-Queen
Summary: "I made a pact with myself. I would never again be the girl that people pitied; I would be the girl of whom people were envious..." - This is Leah's story. POST BD - CANON. Contains Dark and Adult themes. Nom'd for Best One-Shot in the Indie Awards.


**Les Femmes Noires One-Shot Contest**

**Title:** The course of true love never did run smooth...

**Your pen name:** Fates-Love-Queen

**Characters:** Leah

******Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight. ****Stephenie Meyer owns any and all Twilight characters that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. Copyright 2009 by Fates-Love-Queen. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.**

**To see other entries in Les Femmes Noires Contest, please visit the C2 page:**

**.net/community/Les_Femmes_Noires/73127/**

**WARNING: This is a 'dark' story and is Rated M for a reason. Includes Adult themes including profanity, violence and self harm. (no rape or sexual assault)**

**If you are not of mature age, or are not comfortable with the themes, please do not read...**

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**A/N: This story is very different from anything i have ever written before... I had a hard time writing it due to the content and i'm very apprehensive about it, but i hope you like it.**

**Many, many thanks to my super beta kyla713, who makes my words pretty and Americanised. Thanks heaps hun! : ) **

**(If you haven't read her stories, do yourself a favour and read them. I wouldn't mind stealing her Armyward for a few 'drills' if you know what i mean, haha)**

**This story is AU so i used that to my advantage.**

**Enjoy the dark world of Leah... : )**

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Life sucks, and then you die._Yeah, I should be so lucky…_

Woody Allen was once quoted as saying; "Life is full of misery, loneliness and suffering – and it is all over much too soon."

I couldn't agree _and_ disagree more…

That's exactly how I would sum up my life; miserable, lonely and insufferable. But unlike Woody, mine couldn't be over soon enough; as unfortunately, I wasn't growing a day fucking older. I was still physically twenty years old, but for everyday that I didn't age, my heart grew colder, emptier; until there was nothing left but a shell.

~*~*~*~*~*~

**Leah's POV:**

Since finding out that Renesmee would fully mature in six years and stay eighteen forever, Jake was thrilled. It was the happiest I'd ever seen him.

The night after the confrontation, we all went back to the Res to sleep in our old beds. It was so nice to be able to shower and wear fresh clothes again, but the next morning Jake told us and the Cullens that he couldn't stand to be so far away from Renesmee. Given that the leeches had acres of land, they decided that they would build another house on the property for Jake.

He was over the moon, and don't get me wrong I was happy for him, but he really didn't factor in how his pack would feel; more importantly how _I_ would feel.

So, being that I was Jake's second, I had a choice to make. I could either move into the second mansion they were building with Jake, or I could stay on the Res.

Even with the bloodsuckers it wasn't a hard decision to make with Sam and Emily living on the Res, so the next day I moved my shit in with Jake.

However, just because I moved in with Jake didn't mean I was all 'buddy-buddy' with the Cullens.

As far as I'm concerned, they still ruined my life and I avoided them like the plague they were.

Originally I'd told Jake that I was going to try to attempt to control my anger and stop phasing as soon as I could, and I did. I started going to anger management and meditation classes.

I told myself that life was getting better, that _I_ was getting better; but in reality, I was lying to myself. I was still miserable, only pretending to be happy for everyone else.

I still remember the exact day that everything changed…

My mom had booked me an appointment with a top gynecologist, after a reference from Dr. Leech, and she had finally talked me into going.

An hour later, after a broken office door, a bloody hand and countless profanities, I was laying on my bed in Transylvania in tears.

I now knew why I was the only 'girlie wolf' in history; I was completely infertile. Even if I could stop the phasing, I would never be able to bear children.

I had been crying non-stop when Seth came to the house.

I'd let him console me for hours until he had confessed he had 'news'.

Seth had been shopping in Forks with Jake and Renesmee when he ran into the town's newest resident. Her name was Lindsay, and to be honest, I didn't know that much about her apart from the rumors. All I knew was she was seventeen, blonde and a bit of a nerd. Seth could barely contain his shit-eating grin as he told me of her history, and then he blurted out the line that would be the end of me.

"And then it happened, out of nowhere, I imprinted Lee-Lee! Isn't that fantastic? She's so awesome, I can't wait for you to meet her!"

I gaped at him for all of five seconds not believing my ears.

"Come again?"

"I imprinted, on the new girl. Mom's over the moon!"

"Are you fucking kidding me right now, Seth? I found out today the reason I'm cursed, why I'm stuck with the constant leech scented air freshener every-stinking-day is because I can never children. I'm grieving, and you march in here looking like Santa sucked you off because you imprinted?"

"I'm sorry, Leah. I just thought you'd be happy for me…"

"Happy? Happy that out of ten of the original wolves, nine have now imprinted? That my baby brother imprinted before me? That I'm all alone? GET THE FUCK OUT!" I screamed.

To say he was stunned was an understatement, as he just sat there like a fish out of water staring at me as if I had grown a second head. So I got up and literally threw him out before locking the door.

"Well, that's just fucking _perfect,_ isn't it?! Everyone gets a happy ending except _me_!" I screamed to the closed door.

Every single wolf out of the original ten had now imprinted; Seth was the last.

All of them, except for me.

It was in that moment, sitting on my floor in front of my mirror, rocking back and forth to console myself that I realised that I was and always would be truly alone.

I couldn't even bear to look at my own reflection.

In a fit of rage, I picked up a vase and threw it full force into the mirror, hitting it with such force that parts of shattered glass flew back at me slicing the skin on my arms.

The pain felt good…

I picked up a shard of the mirror and held it my palm.

With a shaky hand, I sliced deep into my forearm.

It hurt like hell, but the physical pain was refreshing and a release from all of the hurt and heartache bubbling inside me.

I would take the physical over the emotional pain any day.

My mom had moved in with Charlie and was blissfully happy, so she didn't have that much time for me anymore. Between taking care of the house, Charlie and taking my dad's place on the council, she was definitely preoccupied.

All of the Cullens and the pack had all paired up and it was just Seth and I. But he loved the leeches and Renesmee, so he spent his time either at Charlie's or the Cullens' place with Jake.

And now that he had imprinted, I was alone; forever destined to be that third wheel to everyone.

It was in that moment I realised what I had to do. I would run, get out of this shit-hole just like Jake did after Bella's engagement.

Besides, I hated pack life now.

I hated the fake politeness, the 'advice' they were all so quick to give, but most of all the 'pity stares'. I didn't need their fucking pity.

So the fuck what if I didn't have a mate? I would have alcohol instead, which was just as good in my books, that shit made me numb.

But, if I didn't have my shifting what did I have?

Nothing. It was all I had, so why should I try to stop it?

If I had to live with this curse, hell I may as well enjoy it…

~*~*~*~*~*~

That night, I packed a backpack with some clothes, toiletries, food and money that I had saved and tiptoed my way downstairs. I made it out to my bike only to see Jake leaning up against it.

"Gong somewhere?" he asked.

"No offense Jake, but get the fuck out of my way and mind your own goddamn business."

"Running isn't going to solve anything Leah, trust me, I've been there."

"Please, like you can talk Mr. 'taking off for months without speaking to anyone'. Save it for someone who actually _wants_ to listen. I can't stay here. Between constantly getting the whole 'pity' treatment from the rest of the pack and having to put up with leech stench every day, I've had it!" I marched up to him and shoved him roughly out of the way as I put on my riding jacket.

Jake just sighed, fucking pitying me as usual.

Where was a good fight when you needed one? Maybe I would stop by Paul's on the way home…

"Leah, you know you're not alone. We are all here for you. Your whole family is here."

"That's _exactly_ what I am, alone. Easy to speak once you've found your other half, isn't it, Jacob? Remember how you were?"

I sighed and took a deep breath before continuing.

"I'm sick of being the only one without a mate. The poor menopausal, 'girlie-wolf' still pining after what she can't have. I'm suffocating here and I can't do it anymore. I've pretended to smile and be happy for so long and I just can't do it anymore, I'm tired. I'll still phase, so you can tell mom and Seth that I'm ok, but I just need time Jake. You of all people should understand that. Now, if you don't mind, please tell everyone goodbye for me and get the fuck out of my way," I said as I slid my helmet over my head and started up the bike.

"Please don't come looking for me, Jake."

That was the last thing I said to him before I flew down the drive, flinging dust behind me in my wake.

The next day, I used my cell phone to cancel my meditation and anger management classes and also dropped out of the college I was attending.

I decided that I would embrace all of the perks of being a wolf, and just let the road take me where it may.

~*~*~*~*~*~

By the time I pulled up at a dodgy motel in Seattle, I was a changed woman. I made a pact with myself that I would never again be the girl that people pitied; I would be the girl of whom people were envious.

To be able to go wherever and do whatever the fuck I wanted was exhilarating.

I felt free.

I decided that I had spent enough time pining after what I couldn't have and needed concentrate on what I could. So that night I put on a sinfully tight red dress that clung to my body in all the right places, showed too much cleavage and hit the town.

I found a club about ten minutes from the motel that looked decent.

I pulled into the lot and slowly got off my bike, showing my black satin panties to every guy in the queue. I ruffled my hair and was waved straight in by the bouncer flipping the bird to people whining in the queue.

I threw back some shots, made my way to the dance floor and climbed up on a podium. Closing my eyes, I let the music take over as I ran my hands over my body. And as I opened my eyes and saw the men flocking to me.

Perfect…

I met more guys in one night than I had in my entire life in Forks, and I was having an absolute fucking blast.

One gorgeous blonde guy caught my attention and winked at me, so I decided to give him a show. I parted my legs bent my knees and dropped my ass to the floor in one swift movement. Sticking my butt out, I slowly made my way back up running a hand up my leg and bit my fingernail seductively.

Like a lamb to the slaughter, he came over.

We stated dancing and I grabbed him by the waist, closing the gap between us. I started to grind on him when a girl appeared out of nowhere and started shouting in my face.

"Back up and stop grinding on _my_ boyfriend!"

I looked at her and could already feel my blood start to boil. It had been a while since I allowed my anger to take over and decided to have some fun. I hooked my leg around his hip and pulled him closer, feeling his evident arousal pressing against me.

"Shoo away little girl, and let the grown-ups play," I replied as I ground myself into him again.

"Are you deaf, get off of my boyfriend. Come on Tom, let's go." She started pulling at his arm to get him to leave.

I grabbed her arm and held her. "Can't you see that we are dancing here? If you know what's good for you, you'll walk away, _now_…"

She grabbed my arm and shoved me roughly.

"You can't just walk in here dressed like a skank and steal my boyfriend! Who do you think you are?"

"Skank? Honey, you have no idea who you're fucking with."

I took a step back and punched her square in the stomach and I heard the air whoosh out of her as she fell to the ground.

I grabbed 'Tom's' hand and went to walk away when she grabbed my foot and tripped me.

We both stood up and she raised her fists as if to punch me, and I just laughed at her. She had no idea what she was getting herself into.

She punched me in the jaw and I heard her thumb break in the process as she looked at me disbelievingly, before I landed a hard punch to her jaw in return. She cried out in pain as I landed another one to her eye and felt the familiar lick of heat travel up my spine. Her boyfriend moved in, trying to stop me but at that point I was already seeing red; feeling the anger and adrenaline coursing through my veins. I knew I was going too far but I couldn't stop it.

Tom put his arms around my waist in an attempt to restrain me, but I landed an elbow to his groin and threw my head back to hit his.

By this time, five bouncers had come to remove me. I landed punches to all of them before being restrained and thrown out of the club. The last thing I wanted was the cops showing up so I got on my bike and moved on to the next club.

No matter where I went the guys would flock to me, and after two weeks I had made out with half of Seattle and always took one home with me.

That was a month ago…

After more casual fucks than I would care to admit to, I began to realise that they were all the same and they weren't as appealing as they had once been. Different guys every night, but they all had the same thing in common; they were meaningless to me…

My heart was never in it.

Sure they were fun, a means to an end, but after a while I found that I was just using them for those few hours to ease my emptiness. To actually feel something other than hatred I felt for myself.

Afterwards, when the random guys were walking out the door, I felt as though they were taking part of my soul with them.

The more it happened, the lonelier and emptier I felt, until eventually there was nothing left but a shadow of where my heart used to be

Most would be polite and at least ask for my number, and I would always say the same sarcastic thing; 'You were a great fuck honey, but you're not my type. No hard feelings' or 'I'm not looking for anything serious right now, but we had fun though' to ease their conscience so they would leave.

But the truth was that I _was _looking for something more, just not with any of them.

I was miserable and I felt more like a prostitute than myself.

I felt like I should ask them to leave their money on the table on the way out for my services.

And every night, after the stranger left my bed, I would reach over to the bedside table and take out the shard of glass from my broken mirror at home and add a fresh slice the flesh on my thighs.

Why thighs?

Because I had found it to be the most tender and painful, giving me the greatest relief from my emotional turmoil, and just like me, they would never be seen…

~*~*~*~*~*~

So here I was, sitting under a tree in the middle of a park at five in the morning stone cold drunk.

I had just left my last conquests' bed, feeling emptier than when I'd entered it, looking for something that wasn't there; that was never there.

I wanted that something special, that once in a lifetime love.

The kind of insatiable love that you want to spend your every waking moment with that person, and when you can't, you dream about them so you don't have to be without them for even one moment.

Where you don't need words because you already know what the other person s thinking.

The kind my cousin Emily has, the kind Jake will have, hell even _Bella_ found her soul mate…

So where was mine?

Why didn't I deserve to be happy?

What had I done to be so unworthy of love?

All I wanted was to actually _be_ wanted. I wanted the comfort of knowing that someone loved me, for me.

I _wanted_ to imprint, to find the one person that was made specifically for me, and I knew now, without a shadow of a doubt, that I would never find it.

I was broken, hollow and alone, nothing more than a shell of a person.

I had moved away from Forks to be free and find myself, but in reality, all I had done was become more lost.

I hadn't phased in a month. I couldn't stand having all of their pitying thoughts in my head.

I was running out of money, but had no place to go… I didn't fit in anywhere, and I knew no one wanted me around.

I knew my mom loved me, but she and Charlie have there own lives now; I didn't want to impose on them.

The Cullens hated me and I couldn't blame them. I had always been such a bitch to them, blaming them for something that was out of their control.

I knew I was a burden to the pack.

They never said it, but I knew they hated having me around.

The lone female wolf.

With me gone, it was easier. No more ex-girlfriend moping around, no more 'bitching, whining Leah', no more problems…

I couldn't blame them for hating me, because I knew it was true. I wasn't like them.

Everyone I knew was happy and I was jealous and envious of it.

All I wanted was someone to belong to, somewhere to call home.

But who am I kidding; who the fuck would fall in love with me?

I was tired.

Tired of being miserable and empty.

Tired of using casual sex to ease my emptiness.

But most of all, I was tired of being me. It was exhausting…

By the time I finished the bottle of vodka in my lap, it was almost sunrise.

I pulled the pocketknife out and opened it, placing a fresh cut on my thigh for yet another a conquest. After a month, I had over thirty scars running concurrently down my thighs.

Each one a reminder of how empty and worthless I was.

I wanted it to end.

_I would never again be the girl that people pitied; I would be the girl that people of whom people were envious._

They would be envious because I had found an out.

I looked at the horizon for the last time, taking it in. The sky coming alive in masses of pinks and blues; _beautiful._

I held the knife, and took a deep breath of the fresh, cool air as I placed the blade to my wrist.

Holding my breath, I sliced a deep horizontal gash across my pulse point.

First with the right hand and then the left.

The pain almost pleasurable, knowing this farce of a life was nearly at an end.

I dropped the knife as my final thought came: _I'm sorry, Mom. I love you._

I leaned back against the tree praying that with the aid of the alcohol, I would bleed out before my body began to heal itself.

I closed my eyes as I felt the dizziness taking over, waiting to find peace at last.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Here, keep the pressure on. Did 911 say how long?"

I felt prodding at my arms and a voice I couldn't place.

_Well this doesn't sound like heaven __**or**__ hell,_ I thought to myself.

"Hey, she's stirring. Honey, are you ok? Can you hear me? Open your eyes if you can hear me."

"Ugh, my head," I groaned.

I opened my eyes to see a man and a woman crouching over me. They both seemed in their thirties, each one had a hold of my wrists.

"Who are you?"

"There you are. My name's Daisy and this is Matt. We were doing our morning jog when we found you just minutes ago. You're okay honey, the ambulance is on the way, you'll be fine," the woman 'Daisy' said as she brushed the hair out of my face in a supposed comforting gesture.

I looked down to see they had placed fabric over my cuts, and the man was talking into a cell phone. I looked up and saw that it wasn't long after daybreak.

_Jesus Leah, you can't even fucking kill yourself properly!_

I should have known that it would never work, but it was worth a try…

Wait, did she say ambulance? _Shit!_ I can't go to a hospital, they'll see how quickly I heal and probably send me to Roswell for testing knowing my luck.

"Well Daisy, thank you so much for stopping to help me, but I really need to get home," I said as I tied the fabric at my wrists tight and stood.

I heard her cries behind me, but I ran as fast as my legs could take me out of that park.

Could my luck get _any _worse?

The one time I try to off myself, I had to have probably the only nice people in the whole of Seattle running through the park!

What the fuck? Typical…

I stopped running when I was a few blocks away from the motel; I needed to think.

I was running seriously low on money and clothes, with nowhere to go.

There was only one option, I had to go home and get more supplies. I could sneak in during the night, grab what I needed and then leave with no one the wiser.

I grabbed my backpack, signed out of the motel, grabbed my bike and headed back to Forks.

~*~*~*~*~*~

By the time I got to Port Angeles, it was nearing lunchtime and I was starving.

I had some hours to kill before I headed to Forks so I decided to stop and get something to eat.

I really didn't have much money so I decided on a local diner that I used to go to between Forks and Port Angeles.

As I parked my bike, I noticed the cuts on my wrists had all but stopped bleeding and I pulled the cuffs on my jacket down to my hands to cover the bandages.

The street was pretty much deserted being a weekday and most of the shops were empty. As I was about to walk into the diner, I heard a loud bang reverberate through the air, in what could only have been a gunshot.

Dread from an unknown source filled me, as my feet moved forward of their own accord and before I knew it, I was running to the source of the shot.

With no reason, I halted out the front of an old music store. The windows were dark, but somehow I knew this was where I had to be.

I opened the door and was barrelled over by a man exiting wearing a ski mask. Without thinking, I yanked it off to get a good look at him as he took off down the street.

I could hear noises coming from the shop, so I opened the door to see if anyone was hurt.

I felt a strange pull lead me and walked around the counter to see a man slumped on the floor, a pool of blood forming under him.

"Are you ok? Just hang on, I'll call 911," I said in a panicked voice as I stepped around the man to get closer to the phone.

My heart was hammering in my chest as I leaned down over him, but I stopped dead in my tracks. Before me was the most handsome man I had ever seen in my life.

He appeared to be in his mid-twenties, with dark brown hair that was spiked in the front and neat sideburns. His long eyelashes were caressing his cheeks, and I could see light freckles speckled on them.

He was thin but toned in all the right places. The kind of body that you want wrapped around you in endless compromising positions…

_Focus Leah, the man's been shot! Call 911!_

Squatting next to him, I had just picked up the handset when I felt his hand on my leg.

"Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I never saw true beauty till this night."

I looked down to see his eyes and saw that he was staring at me as he grabbed my hand.

I stopped breathing and froze, I couldn't move even if I had wanted to.

The world I knew turned upside down, and the store around me disappeared.

All I could see was the man in front of me staring at me in the most expressive, bright brown eyes I had ever seen.

I felt myself come undone as though until now, my body had been aligned wrongly and been put back together differently; like nothing else in the world mattered anymore. I felt my centre of gravity shift and instead of being kept on the earth by gravity, I was now kept here by him. I felt like a new person… And I knew, I felt it.

It was the most intense feeling I had ever felt. I was forever changed.

Oh god!

I had just imprinted on the most gorgeous man I've ever seen that quotes freaking Shakespeare!

Oh god, I just imprinted on a dying man! How fucked up am I?

"Can you hear me? What's your name?" I didn't even realise I was crying until I heard it in my voice.

I took my jacket off, rolled it up and pressed it to the bullet wound in his chest firmly.

"Dean, my name is Dean," he said as he winced.

Even in pain, his voice was smooth like silk.

"Okay Dean, I'm Leah. How badly are you hurt? Do you have any family I can call for you?"

"It hurts to breathe. I don't think that's a good sign. And no, I don't have any family, it's just me," he breathed shakily, his voice was getting weaker by the minute.

"Why is this happening to me? How is this fair?" I sobbed. The ambulance would take too long to get here, and I couldn't take him on my bike…

I thought I had known pain, but I had never felt anything like this. I felt as though my heart were being ripped out of my chest and all I could do was watch.

"Ssh, it's ok. I'm glad it was you who walked in my shop. 'Come what sorrow can, It cannot countervail the exchange of joy, That one short minute gives me in her sight,'" he said in a faint voice and I sobbed again.

_I would never again be the girl that people pitied, I would be the girl of whom people were envious._

As I saw Dean's eyes close, I was abruptly furious.

I had just gotten everything I had ever wanted and just as quickly, it was being ripped away from me?

Well _fuck that! _I wouldn't let it.

So I did the only thing I could.

I picked Dean up from the ground and clutched him to me, his heavenly scent tainted by blood enveloping me. I adjusted him in my arms so that I could still apply pressure to the wound with my hip and I ran.

"Dammit, stay with me Dean. Please!" I yelled to him as I took off out the front door, disappearing into the trees without a backward glance.

I ran… I ran for both of our lives at a speed I didn't know was possible, as everything around me blurred. All I could focus on was Dean's shallow breathing and heart rate.

I ran back to Forks with my tail literally between my legs to the only doctor I knew that might be able to save him… Carlisle.

I could only pray that they would be nicer to me than I had been to them in the past....

~*~*~*~*~*~

As I ran down the Cullen driveway, I prayed to anyone that was listening that Carlisle would be home.

When I reached the porch, I saw Edward standing in the doorway with a confused expression on his face.

"Leah, are you alright? What's going on? I heard your thoughts screaming for miles. Who's…"

I didn't have time to explain as I barged through the doorway cutting him off.

"Carlisle? Please tell me Carlisle is here!" I yelled at him as I entered the living room.

"Leah? What's wrong?" Carlisle asked as he descended the stairs in a blur, with the rest of the Cullens and Jake on his tail.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Please, Carlisle, I need your help. I didn't know what else to do or where else to go," I stammered through my tears.

"It's alright, settle down. What's happened, who is this?" he asked as his eyes rested on Dean's pale body.

"I don't know! I was passed Port Angeles on my way to Forks when I heard a gun shot and before I realised what was happening I was running toward the sound. I'm guessing it was a robbery gone badly, but when I got there I saw him and I had to save him. Please Carlisle, you have to help him."

"Alright, why don't you put him down on the couch. Alice, can you please get my bag?"

I saw Alice run upstairs and by the time that I placed Dean on the couch, she was back, handing Carlisle his medical bag.

I stood at the end of the couch, pushing his hair of his forehead while Carlisle looked him over.

"Leah, I'm sorry but the bullet has penetrated his lung. It's been too long and his lung has filled with blood. He might have a chance with surgery, but he won't make it through the drive to the hospital. There's nothing I can do, I'm so sorry."

"Leah, why did you carry this bleeding man all the way to Forks? I'm sure the police will be looking for him," Jake questioned.

"_No_! This can't be happening, it's not too late!" I screamed and everyone took a step back.

"Leah, I'm so sorry but there's not enough time to save him. His heart rate is dropping rapidly, I'm sorry. But Jacob is right, why did you carry him here?"

I heard what he was saying but it wasn't making any sense.

I leaned down and cradled Dean's head in my hands as the tears ran down my cheeks. He was sheet white with a thin sheen of sweat covering his forehead, but he was still the gorgeous man I had ever seen. His heartbeat was weak and his breaths laboured.

"Please Dean, for the love of god, _please_. Stay with me," I pleaded through my sobs.

"Oh god, no. Leah, did you imprint on him? On a dying man?" Jacob asked in disbelief.

"Yes. I found him in the store. When he touched me and I looked into his eyes, it happened. Isn't he beautiful? Why has this happened to me, Jake? What have I done that's so terrible that deems me unworthy of happiness or love?" I pleaded, looking at him for the first time.

I saw the fucking pity in his eyes.

"Leah what happened to your arms?" Carlisle asked, noticing the bloody bandages tied around my wrists.

"I was so miserable and empty that I couldn't take it anymore. I slit my wrists this morning, but I failed at that as I do everything else. I'm so pathetic I couldn't even kill myself properly. In a way, I guess it was a good thing, as it led me to Dean. No matter how short our time has been, I'm grateful. I finally got to feel happiness, no matter how fleetingly. Don't worry, I will find a way to follow him as soon as I can. I won't burden you all with my presence again," I said as I leaned down and kissed his lips for the first time, when I felt it. As tears ran freely down my cheeks, I finally felt what home was.

"Carlisle, I can't watch this, it's too painful. You have to do it. You have to save him. We all have our mates and it's heartbreaking to watch someone lose theirs. I can't bear it," Bella stepped forward and put her hand on my shoulder.

"Bells, you know we can't do that. We allowed for you in the treaty because you knew what you were getting yourself into, but it doesn't cover this. It's too dangerous."

"Jake, this is Leah we're talking about! A member of the pack has imprinted, and now that imprintee is dying. What other option is there? You know what will happen if he dies, Leah will follow. Are you prepared to lose a sister?" Bella questioned him.

Jake looked over at me and I finally understood what they were talking about, and I felt a faint glimmer of hope.

"Oh god, please Carlisle, please change him! I know I've given you no reason to do me any favors and that I have no right to ask this of you but I have to, please," I sobbed.

"Leah, it's not that simple… You know that Vampire venom is lethal to us. Even if Carlisle changes him, you won't be able to have a normal relationship with him. You won't be able to kiss or be intimate with him…" Jake replied.

"I don't care, Jake! I don't care about _any_ of that shit! As long as he is alive and breathing… Well, as long as he is here with me, I'll be ok. He's mine, Jake. My other half. I can't be without him now. It will kill me, and you know that. What would you do if it was Nessie?" I pleaded.

Jake re-coiled as if I had slapped him in the face, and I knew I had hit the right nerve.

"Time is running out, Leah. Is this truly what you want? We have no idea how he will react when he wakes to this life. You will have to be around him everyday and not able to be intimate, can you handle that? Does he even have any family?" Carlisle asked, raising some very valid points; but time was running out and I just wanted him to save Dean.

"He doesn't have any family. I asked him in the store if there was any family I could call and he said there was no one. I know I have no right asking you to take on a newborn, but I will be with him every step of the way. I know in my heart that we can do this together. As for the intimacy, that's my call to make. That's what I have to live with. I need him in my life, it doesn't matter what the circumstances. Jake, please? Please let Carlisle save him, for me. I need him."

The tears were still falling as I turned to look at Jacob. His arms were crossed and I could tell he was in full Alpha mode, weighing the pros and cons. But I knew his decision the minute that he looked at me and his eyes softened.

"Fine, Carlisle, if you're okay with this, then you have my permission to change him. But Leah, he is your responsibility. You can't just leave him to the Cullens."

"Oh god, thank you, Jake. I promise I won't. I promise, Carlisle," I managed through my sobs, as I took Dean's hand in mine.

"Alright he doesn't have much time left, but I won't make this decision on my own. This will affect all of us and I need to know how everyone feels, as we will have to help Leah with Dean through the newborn stage. So, I'd like to take a quick vote. Remembering that this isn't just Dean's life in the balance, but Leah's too. You know the Alpha's vote, and I too vote yes," Carlisle said, smiling down warmly at me.

"I know what it's like to think you have lost a mate and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I couldn't live without Edward. So yes, you have my vote, Leah. You deserve to be happy," Bella said, smiling at me.

Edward grasped Bella's hand in his and nodded his head in conformation.

Esme was next as she moved across the room and cradled my face in her hands.

"I would love nothing more than to see you finally happy, Leah. So yes, I would be more than happy to help. And to make both you and Dean a part of our family." I couldn't help but smile at her kind words.

"Hell yes! I'd love an even wresting match! A opponent who doesn't cheat or have decades of fighting experience, bring it on!" Emmett boomed, clapping his hand together.

"I'm voting yes for the simple fact that I'd love to see Emmett get his ass kicked fair and square and not having anything for him to blame the loss on!" Jasper chimed in and slapped Emmett on the back.

It was Rosalie's turn next, but just as she went to open her mouth, Alice squealed beside her.

"Yes, a new brother! And in return, a new shopping partner! Oh Leah, you're going to love your new summer wardrobe!"

I smiled over at Alice, who was bouncing around like a five year old high on red cordial.

Hell, I'd let her buy me a whole goddamn department store if Dean made it out of this okay…

The pixie squealed again, obviously seeing herself buying me a 'Macys'' or 'Chanel' or wherever the hell it is that rich people shopped.

"Well, I guess you know my vote. I'm sick of seeing the dog all pissy all of the time," Rosalie said in a huff.

"Alright then, that settles it. Leah, for the last time, are you sure? It won't be pleasant to watch,"

Carlisle asked.

"I'm sure. And thank you, to all of you for showing me the compassion that I never showed you. I was wrong, and I'm eternally sorry," I said, looking around the room.

I received smiles in return, as Carlisle bent down and put his lips to Dean's throat and bit down.

As the venom spread through Dean's body, I leaned down to his ear.

"I love you, I know I'm selfish, but I can't be without you. Not now, not ever. This is the only way for us to be together. I'm so sorry," was all I said as I kissed his human lips one last time.

I had just damned my other half, to by all accounts, eternal damnation.

All because I was the most selfish and possessive person on the planet.

I could only pray that in time, he would forgive me…

~*~*~*~*~*~

_**Three years later:**_

"Are you sure about this, baby?" Dean asked for the hundredth time.

He had taken to immortal life surprisingly well, which he attributed to me.

Admittedly, he had slipped up once, but luckily, I was there to stop him.

When he awoke, I had apologised repeatedly for damning him to this life due to my selfishness and explained the imprinting. But to my surprise, he just took my hand and told me that it didn't matter. That for him it was love at first sight, and he would do whatever he had to do for us to be together.

I sobbed against the designer shirt that Alice had dressed him in as I told him the truth; that he was the first and only person that I would ever love.

And as we raced off to hunt for the first time, with Bella and Edward in tow, I realised that in fact I hadn't chosen him, he had chosen me.

I was made for him.

"Yes Dean, I'm sure. Believe me when I say there's nothing in this world I want more," I replied as I reached up to cradle his stone cold face in my hand.

We had been over this conversation hundreds of times since his change three years ago.

"But we don't know for sure how it will turn out. I can't risk losing you Leah, I won't," he said as he pulled me into a tight embrace.

"All the evidence is there, Dean. You read the report from Carlisle. My chromosome count has gone back to that of a human, even my temperature has returned to normal. Carlisle thinks that the gene has receded, and it's safe to proceed. Please don't argue with me on this again, I've made up my mind. I want a normal relationship with you, and I'm doing this."

Ever since Dean was turned three years ago, his body fluids were poisonous to me, and we had very strict limitations to our physical relationship and intimacy.

As much as I loved him and having him by my side, it wasn't enough…

He was my mate and I could hardly touch him.

I longed for that closeness. To be able to have him pull me into an embrace and melt into his arms without fear off him hurting me, to be able to experience physical things that normal couples took for granted everyday; like kissing or making love. Things that we couldn't do.

But more than anything, I wanted to be his equal.

_Typical Leah, a glutton for punishment… _

_First imprint on a dying man, and then have him turned into a vampire, your mortal enemy…_

Seeing how miserable I was, Carlisle came up with a theory.

The legends say that if we stop phasing for long enough, we are able to grow old again and eventually die.

Carlisle wanted to know if the gene just goes dormant or dies all together, effectively making us human again.

After taking some blood samples, I set out on the _incredibly_ difficult task to rein in my emotions to stop phasing, and without Dean, I didn't think it would have been possible; but I did it.

Three years I had stopped for, and we just got the results yesterday that the gene had receded.

"But baby, it's just theories and legends that he's going on. It might just be dormant. Please, I need you with me. Even if we can't be intimate, baby, it's enough. I love you."

I pulled my head back from his perfectly sculpted chest and looked up into his topaz eyes.

"I love you too, more than life itself, which is why I have to try," I said.

I hugged him once more before I ascended the stairs to Carlisle's study where he was waiting for me.

"Ok, let's do this, I'm ready."

"Alright. I will see you in three days Leah, I'm sure of it," Carlisle said smiling at me.

I lay down on the table, closed my eyes and held my breath as I felt Carlisle's teeth tear into the flesh of my neck.

"Dean, I love you," I whispered as I felt Carlisle's venom start to flow through my veins…

~*~*~*~*~*~

After what felt like an agonisingly painful eternity, I was finally able to open my eyes.

I had been expecting to see my body nothing more than ashes from the constant fire that raged through me for the last three days; but surprisingly, I was intact.

I looked down to see Dean holding my hand and gasped.

Instead of being ice cold and stone hard, it was soft and warm.

I looked up to face and saw the overwhelming joy in his features; his face was lit up like a Christmas tree.

I felt my eyes well up with tears that would never fall, and sobbed.

"It worked baby, it worked. Thank god you're okay," Dean exclaimed as he pulled me to him in a tight embrace.

I pulled back to look at him and I couldn't help but smile. He was even more gorgeous, if that was even possible, with my new eyes.

His hand made it's way to my cheek and I leaned into his touch.

"I just want to try one thing…," he said as his head moved so our lips were an inch apart.

I could feel his sweet breath fanning my face, until he leaned in and grazed his lips with mine.

I felt as if I would burst as he ran the tip of his tongue along lower lip, asking for entrance.

I quickly obliged, opening my mouth and eagerly greeting his tongue with mine.

I embarrassingly moaned into his mouth as our kiss became heated, our tongues battling for dominance. I felt as though my whole body was a live wire, every touch setting my body alight.

I pulled him closer to me, wrapping my legs around his waist.

Dean let out a growl that shot a pool of wetness to my panties as his arousal pressed against center.

It took all I had not to rip his clothes to shreds and have him take me right there.

After three years of nothing more than chaste kisses, I was in _need_ for some fucking loving!

I started unbuttoning his shirt when I heard a throat clear behind us.

It was my turn to growl as I turned around to see Jake laughing.

"Well, I'm glad to see that things are okay up here…" he teased.

"No offense Jake, but is there a reason that you're up here _cock-blocking me_…?"

Both Dean and Jake laughed as he walked into the room.

"I just wanted to see for myself that you were okay, Leah. And wow, you look good! Apart from the freaky-ass eyes that is. I was just going to suggest that you two head out to hunt, I'm sure you're starting to get a bit uncomfortable," Jake said and unconsciously my hand flew to my fiery throat.

"Well I am now. Thanks, Jake. You know you can't boss me around anymore," I teased as I stepped out of Dean's embrace and headed for the door.

"Leah, despite what you think, you will always be a member of the pack. To all of us. I mean it, if you ever need anything, you're still our sister and we love you."

My eyes filled with shedless tears again as I leaned in to hug him.

"You have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you Jake, for everything."

"You're welcome. Now, get out of here and hunt before I throw you out," he laughed as we descended the stairs and exited the back door.

As Dean as I ran toward the forest, he picked up my hand and kissed it.

"I love you," he whispered.

"Hear my soul speak. Of the very instant that I saw you, Did my heart fly at your service," I replied, citing a Shakespeare quote as he had that fateful day we met.

He smiled as we took off, running after the scent of a herd of deer.

_I would never again be the girl that people pitied, I would be the girl of whom people were envious._

I had fulfilled that pact that I made in Seattle all those years ago.

I knew it was selfish, but I had gone after what I wanted, not giving a damn about anyone else.

And now, I truly was a woman to be envied now, because how many women get to spend all of eternity with a man that was made specifically for them?

I selfishly smiled at the answer.

Not fucking many…

This time _I_ was the one who got a 'Happily Ever After'.

And I would kill any motherfucker that tried to take it from me again.

No one fucks with me and my man; no one…

* * *

**A/N: I'd LOVE to know what you thought! **

**Did you like the Leah love? Are you happy with her 'HEA'?**

**Reviews are much appreciated, I read and respond to each and every one, they really do brighten my day.**

**Yes i know Leah 'turning' would not have been possible in the series, but after all this is AU : )**

**This story allowed me to also show my obsession with 'Supernatural'. In the books, Leah was in love with 'Sam', and now in this one she falls for 'Dean'. I know, i'm a dork, lol.**

**So, thankyou for reading, and don't forget... REVIEW PLEASE! Ta : )**


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